Tonight I'm going for a drink with the boy that started this whole 'weight' thing. I don't know why i'm going, why I feel so nervous or why he wants to see me. I'm terrified that he'll look at me and think i'm huge compared to the last time he saw me and i've already cancelled twice because of that.
Last night I spoke to two people that I have had no contact with for almost three years. The last two days have been like a spiral backwards, and now I feel like i've been catapulted into everything I thought i'd gotten away from. It's not a particularly bad feeling...but I am surprised by how little inclined I am to rekindle any form of friendship with these people. The fact is, if the person believes they have changed...they probably haven't. I'm not even sure I wanted them to change, I would've been more impressed if they'd stucked to their guns and stayed exactly as the people they wanted to be, rather than conforming to what I needed from them.
Life is a funny journey.
I'll let you know how tonight goes.